Stand Up & Be Your Own Advocate
If you answer ‘yes’ to some of the following, it may be a sign that you aren’t standing up for yourself or being your own advocate.
Do you ever do things…
- …because someone else wants you to, and you don’t want to hurt their feelings?
- Or, because you feel selfish standing up for what you think is right or best for you?
- Or, because you’ve developed a habit of letting someone else make important choices for you, and it is too hard to say no?
- Or, because they push, and you give in because you don’t want the conflict?
- Or, because a sales person keeps selling; asking ‘why’ and ‘what’, trying to engage you long after you have said no thank you? (This type of situation almost becomes a severance to your relationship and/or a judgment on your ability to think and a closed path to the ultimate “no!”
One of the hardest and best skills to learn is to trust yourself, stand up for yourself and take care of yourself. To, as one of the proponents of being your own best advocate says, find the combination of directness and kindness to deny the offer and end the conversation.
Often the most difficult advice or sales pitches to deny, come from friends/family that really care about you. Sometimes their comments are even the result of your asking for advice. And that can be a hard one to handle. But just because you asked for advice doesn’t mean you have to follow it. Just say, “Thank you. I have been pondering this situation for a while, and have not yet found the answer that suits me, but I so appreciate your input”.
While learning to be your own best advocate, it helps to keep in mind that you are the one who knows your situation best AND has to live with your decision. Just remember that there is a difference between “self-care” and being “selfish.”
Once you regularly practice living the life you’ve chosen (versus what someone else tries to choose for you) you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what happens!
SD County Escrow Team